Uproxx
Today, in our next to last entry of the most essential theme park in every state in the nation, we traverse the American Southeast. It has been a considerable endeavor, as we’re seduced by every defunct theme park we come across (which isn’t the assignment, strictly speaking). This is why you’ll see a lot of entries that do double duty as a recommendation for an existing theme park and a celebration of one from the past. But we genuinely believe that an important part of the appeal of theme parks, in general, is their tie to nostalgia and history.
To pick our favorites, we had to figure out what is truly essential when it comes to theme parks. We don’t think having the best or newest coaster is essential, nor do we think being essential is the same as “the best.” Instead, our focus is on properties that are unlike any other in the state and therefore demand a spot on your travel list. We want to shout out those places that are fun and surprising and special. We believe every entry you are about to read fits the bill.
So take a peek at our picks for the Southeast, and then hop in the comments and tell us about the theme parks you find essential. There’s no wrong answer, and we love learning about the theme parks that have thrilled you, delighted you, and made you vomit because of the-super-fast-roller-coaster-and-cotton-candy-and-three-corndogs.
Virginia: Dinosaur Kingdom II (Natural Bridge)
You’re probably catching on to the fact that we consider things essential when they are singular oddities, and there is literally not a stranger theme park on this list than our pick for the lovely state of Virginia. If you are not familiar with Dinosaur Kingdom II, strap in and hold on.
The year is 1863, and a Southern family of paleontologists has discovered a valley filled with living dinos. The Garrison family are overjoyed and begin quietly and peacefully observing the dinosaurs…until the Union Army discovers what is happening under their very noses. Their response? Take control of the creatures as powerful weapons and use them against the South. But it is a terrible flipping plan and the Yankees are boned.
Yeah. It’s weird. And being all “revisionist history” about the Civil War is only fun until you realize the horrifying implications.
If you can suspend your disbelief, Artist Mark Cline is the man behind this theme park and Foamhenge, Professor Cline’s Haunted Monster Museum, and Dinosaur Kingdom, and his work should never ever be confused with Virginia’s other (decidedly more normal) dinosaur park, Dinosaur Land, because this park is whacky pants.
Prepare to be given a guided tour along a path punctuated by scenes of Yankees at the claws of the huge predators. And their defeats are damn bloody and often quite strange. But, for our money, the Civil War death by dino is less weird than Cyborg Stonewall Jackson. Oh yes, that happens too.
West Virginia: Camden Park (Huntington)
Obviously, we will get to our pick and tell you why it is essential and then you will balk, and we will have to fight you in the parking lot. But before we do that, let’s talk about an abandoned amusement park because We. Love. That. Shit.
Lake Shawnee Amusement Park was erected on the site of a tragedy. Called “the Clay family massacre,” it took place in the late 1700s — when a group of Native Americans kidnapped and killed members of a family “settling” the area. It’s a story that probably could tell us a fair bit about history and forced colonization — but instead of learning those lessons, an amusement park for the family of coal workers was built right on top of the spot in 1926. When the park closed in 1966 (due to the deaths of two children), people began to wonder if the land was cursed. Like any good horror movie, the only way to find out is to bring something to record and go for a visit to the former park. Warning: The old equipment and attractions remain in a state of advanced decay and it is creepy af.
If ghosts aren’t totally your thing, then our second pick would be Camden Park. In 1902, the Camden Interstate Railway Company established a picnic spot. It remains one of only 13 trolley parks still in business. Soon after it debuted, the park was augmented with a carousel and other attractions. It is also the state’s only official amusement park. Though it has over 30 attractions and rides, we are all about the Big Dipper, a traditional wooden roller coaster that opened in 1958. There are other cool vintage rides, too, like: The Whip, Scrambler, Dodgem Cars, Tilt-A-Whirl, and Paratrooper. Plus, we’re easily charmed by the swan-shaped paddle boats.
Tennessee: Dollywood (Pigeon Forge)
If you didn’t see this coming, you don’t know us at all. Yes, it is pretty corporate, but we don’t think that has robbed it of an ounce of personality or uniqueness. And there’s a great past embedded in the property because Dolly Parton bought an interest in an existing theme park that she’d loved since her youth.
All right, here it goes: In 1961, a pair of brothers from Blowing Rock, North Carolina brought their dreams of owning a small tourist trap to life. The name was Rebel Railroad and the theme was pretty much what you would imagine. Inspired by the centennial anniversary of the Civil War, there was a saloon, a blacksmith shop, a general store and a steam train from which guest could experience “attacks” by union soldiers, train robbers, and Native Americans. So…it was racist. Let’s just get that out there.
In 1970, the owner of the Cleveland Browns football team, Art Modell, bought the park and renamed it Goldrush Junction. And, in 1976, it changed hands and names again, emerging as simply Goldrush before becoming Silver Dollar City Tennessee. Finally, in 1986, Parton bought an interest in the park and it reopened as Dollywood.
Now, the park is the largest employer in the area, fulfilling her promise to give back to her community. It has been over 30 seasons and things just keep getting better. In addition to the great rides, there are topnotch musical shows and demonstrations of Tennessee crafts (like glass blowing artisans who then sell their specialties). Plus, its location in the mountains makes it a genuinely beautiful place to walk around. It’s just the right amount of cheesy Dolly Parton entertainment, rides that highlight Tennesee’s past (we particularly recommend a coal mining ride that ends with the town on fire and everyone’s death. It’s fun for the whole family), and newer coasters and thrill rides. You can’t go wrong.
North Carolina: Land of Oz Theme Park (Beech Mountain)
This theme park is heavy on theme, and we cannot resist that sort of single-minded design. And it is a completely curious landmark that has only recently been resurrected. This experience cannot be duplicated and that counts for a lot. The Park opened in 1970 on Beech Mountain as a way to keep crowds flocking to the resort after the ski season had come to an end. It worked. The park was a total hit, attracting 400,000 visitors in its first year. It was on track to become the most popular attraction on the east coast. Until it suddenly wasn’t, and the park was clinging to solvency.
A fire in 1975 damaged the park to the point that it never fully bounced back, and the park finally closed its doors in 1980. Abandoned attractions became fodder for vandals and thieves, turning Land of Oz into a textbook abandoned theme park: great for photos and equal parts creepy and sad.
But resurrection came, in the early 1990s. Ever since, the park has opened a few weekends a year to sellout crowds. In the summer, visitors are part of “Journey with Dorothy,” which is a tour guided by a singing actress in the role of Dorothy. In September, visitors experience “Autumn at Oz,” which is still a tour but lets guests get off-leash a bit more. When visiting prepare to be drafted into the performances. It’s actually really fun.
South Carolina: Family Kingdom Amusement Park (Myrtle Beach)
Before we get to our pick, we have a few things of great importance to pass along. First, South Carolina used to be the site of the Gay Dolphin Amusement Park which we think sounds fabulous. And it was also the home of Hard Rock Park — that literally lasted from April 15, 2008 to September 24, 2008. If we are completely transparent, it was reopened the following year…and then immediately closed again. Are you surprised no one in the aughts cared about the Hard Rock brand? Nor are we.
Thank you for letting us share. Now, back to the current essential park. We will admit our decision ultimately came down to the presence of the largest Ferris wheel in the state, the 1923 Philadelphia Toboggan Company carousel with horses cast from the manufacturer’s original molds, and Family Kingdom’s position as the Grand Strand’s only seaside amusement park. We love a theme park right up on the water. It is so awesome to ride a waterslide with a view of the ocean.
The park has been in business since 1966, when it was known as Grand Strand Amusement Park. The name was changed to its current incarnation in 1992 after the Ammons family, owners of the Sea Mist Oceanfront Resort, bought it. The Ammon family has spent more than five decades developing Myrtle Beach into a family vacation destination, and this purchase and their subsequent ownership are an aspect of that.
Arkansas: Magic Springs Theme and Water Park (Hot Springs)
Arkansas has a couple of curious theme parks that are worthy of mention, but they aren’t taking the title of essential for a couple reasons, some are closed and one is aimed at born-again Christians.
The Great Passion Play in Eureka Springs is the theme park that turned the area into the most popular tourist destination in the state thanks to conservative Christian guests looking to enjoy a museum of Earth history without all that evolution stuff and to see a daily passion play. It’s clearly not for everyone, but it’s definitely worth mentioning. Also worth a mention is Dogpatch USA, the country’s most profitable hillbilly-themed park founded on a trout farm. Based on the Li’l Abner comic strip, it had a roller coaster called Earthquake McGoon’s Brain Rattler. And sadly, Dinosaur World also failed to go the distance despite having the world’s largest Noah’s Ark mural. But some of the old dinosaur and caveman sculptures remain on the old grounds, so go get pics while you can.
In the absence of the quirkier options that the state used to offer, we think Magic Springs Theme and Water Park is pretty cool. It’s a much more corporate affair than the smaller, weirder options that fill this list, but that doesn’t make it any less fun to take a ride on the Brain Drain and drop 13-stories. This park has changed hands a lot, and when that led to dips in attendance, the park consistently chose to add new rides rather than hold the fort as it was. Thanks to that philosophy, there are tons of family rides, thrill rides, kids rides, and a sizable water park.
Georgia: Lake Winnepesaukah (Rossville)
Yes, yes, you expected Six Flags. And you know that we wanted to pick The World of Sid and Marty Krofft (which made it until the 1970s). But let’s split the difference and get a good dose of history and character plus some fun rides?
Lake Winnepesaukah, named for the Native American word meaning “bountiful waters”, debuted to over 5,000 visitors on June 1, 1925. In 1926, the park boasted the largest swimming pool in the southeast. The Boat Chute, designed by owner Carl Dixon, was a huge hit in 1927, making it the third oldest mill chute ride still operating in the US. It started as a water-themed attraction but later expanded onto dry land with a historic carousel that dates back to a 1916 manufacture and the Cannon Ball roller coaster, added in 1967. Now, it’s over 80 acres — with 38 rides and a seven-attraction water park.
We genuinely dig the old Cannon Ball with its 40-foot drop and 2,272 feet of track that extends three-quarters of a mile. It’s a 90-second bit of whiplash with a top speed of 50-miles-per-hour. And it is fun. So fun. Must be why the park’s motto is “Come On, Get Happy!”
We appreciate a motto that puts The Partridge Family theme in our head. Don’t act like you don’t too.
Louisiana: Carousel Gardens Amusement Park (New Orleans)
Louisiana (like many of the states on this list) isn’t much of a theme park Mecca. At one point the former Jazzland became a Six Flags, but Hurricane Karina put a dent in that, leaving the state largely without an amusement park. In the past, however, residents of the state and visitors from neighboring ones frequented the popular Hamel’s Amusement Park in Shreveport. In the 1960s it was a dairy barn, but the owners invested in a few llama, goats, and lambs (as you do), and a petting zoo was born. That evolved into the acquisition of wild cats, primates, elephants, and peacocks, and suddenly there was a full-on zoo in place. By the 1970s, it was a prime attraction.
By the mid-1970s, Hamel’s had children’s rides going and then it was time to go total amusement park with a coaster and a log flume and chain swings. The mid-1980s were a peak time, with Louisiana residents associating the park with all the fun they could possibly want. And then, it became another theme park casualty of unpredictable weather. A tornado straight up bent the Ferris wheel in half and started a decline that the park could not fight out of. The rides were removed and by 1999 it was legit defunct. However, many argue spirits lingered. So, if you are a ghost enthusiast, the abandoned grounds could prove interesting for spirit conjuring. You could meet the late Mr. Hamel or a worker killed in the construction of the log flume. There are some solid ghost hunting options in this group.
If you’re more interested in an easygoing afternoon of fun without the dead speaking to you, Carousel Gardens Amusement Park may be the best the state has to offer. There is a roller coaster, a Ferris wheel, and a drop tower. There’s also, you know, a carousel. The park has been going for over 150 years and the carousel has logged a century of use. It is one of 100 hand-carved carousels left in the nation and the only one in Louisiana. It was crafted by Charles Looff (who you will recognize from our Washington entry) and Charles Carmel. And you may recognize the locale from films like 22 Jump Street and Now You See Me, which both filmed there.
Alabama: Waterville USA (Gulf Shores)
You may have noticed a lot more water parks on the list than a theme park post implies. But when it comes to the long, hot, oppressive summer highs in the high 80s, walking around an outdoor park — founded on cement and without any tree cover to provide shade — a watery respite from the elements is a must.
Waterville USA opened in 1986 and has continued to add water and amusement attractions over the years. It’s not as wildly creative as some of the locales we view as essential, but we think it makes for a fun day. And, though they aren’t the only park to do it, we are charmed that the park has multiple free sunscreen stations to keep burns and long-term skin damage at bay.
When you visit, be sure to ride the Screamin’ Demon, a 60 foot, steep as hell drop down a slide, and its neighbor the Triple Dog Dare, a turbo body slide that makes you feel weightless. Both require riders to be older, so you won’t have to stand in line with too many kids or fight them for your turn.
Mississippi: Geyser Falls (Choctaw)
When it comes to theme parks in the southern states, water parks are the real draw because it can be, as people say, hot as fish grease down there. When people need some thrills and amusement in the summer months, you can’t beat slathering yourself in a heaping helping of sunscreen and heading to the water slides. When it comes to the essential, we are sans historical oddity to offer up here. Instead, we think the one not to be missed is Geyser Falls, the waterpark at Pearl River Resort.
This is a place that takes a theme seriously, leaning into the geyser name in a big way. And they use the natural topography of their property rather than reducing it to a uniform concrete pad. Because of this, people who take on Mt. Everwet (total porn name), a collection of three-speed slides, get to shoot down a 60-foot hill. Similarly, Whitewater Express (four-lane mat-racing slide) is totally built into the park’s hillside.
They also have Backsplash, this bizarre half-pipe slide that sends guests in two-person passenger tubes shooting down a u-shaped track and up into a bunch of water that pushes the tubes backward. There is no other ride like it in the nation.
This is a new park. It is a corporate park. And we tried to avoid it, but there was no helping ourselves. It’s just too fun.
Florida: Weeki Wachee Springs State Park (Spring Hill)
We know that we mentioned Weeki Wachee in our recent swimming hole line-up, so we look a little obsessed at this point. We don’t care. If we can’t love a city of live mermaids that dates back seventy years, then why did we go to all that therapy? And yes, we could pick Disney or Universal Studios or Epcot (which all rock) but you already know about them. So let’s go somewhere kitschy and cool. We don’t want to hit the hotel bar, we want to find the Tiki bar where the locals hang.
Since it first welcomed visitors in 1947, Weeki Wachee has been a popular roadside attraction, attracting tourists and mermaids from across the globe. The park is 538 acres of Florida beauty and home to the deepest naturally formed spring on the continent. It is also the state park where “mermaids” dance and swim and eat bananas in an underwater theater built 20 feet under the spring’s surface.
How do they do this without drowning? Good question. Thanks to Navy man Newton Perry, who built the theater, a new way of breathing underwater was created and it is the method still used today. In order to master the breathing and the use of free-flowing tubes of oxygen, the performers are involved in rigorous training. This allows them to perform synchronized song and dance routines and to swim in place, buoyed by the five mile per hour currents in the theater area.
We say the mermaid theme is enough, but the park also offers riverboat rides, animal shows, camping, and scuba diving.
Kentucky: Beech Bend Park (Bowling Green)
Beech Bend Park began as a picnic grounds with river swimming. People also attended formal dances at the park’s pavilion. It was a very traditional early amusement park. But Charles Garvin bought it for $12,990.98 in 1942 and went to work turning it into a glitzy theme park. However, the transformation was slow going. Garvin didn’t believe in borrowing money and so he had to raise the funds for every improvement independently. He literally saved all of the cash for his first Ferris wheel and the classic carousel from the 1904 St. Louis World Fair before he was able to purchase and install them. The man paid as he went and didn’t spend a dime in interest.
The 1960s were the park’s salad days. Guests were paying ten cents to enjoy the park and promotions like “County Days,” which spotlighted different counties within the Bowling Green region. Mid-way games like Skee Ball were a huge hit, as were carnival rides like Wild Mouse, a modest style of roller coaster. And the associated campgrounds are large enough to be billed as the world’s largest.
Sadly, Garvin’s health started to decline in the 1970s and competition from nearby Opryland USA began a period of decline for the theme park. It closed a few times in the 1980s after the 1979 death of Garvin but is currently on the other side of a multi-million dollar remodel and expansion that has updated and improved Beech Bend, making it a really fun park (as well as one with close ties to the community and to the state).
from UPROXX https://ift.tt/2Jirxr2
via IFTTT